Children are funny #1 - 10
[1]
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
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[2]
The father saw his 5-year-old son, Steven, roughly jerking on their toy poodle's leash. The fuming father approached the boy and took the dog's leash and said, "Do you want to tell me how sorry you are?"
"I don't know how much you saw!" Steven stammered.
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[3]
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
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[4]
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, the officer was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at the uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?"
"Yes," the officer answered and continued writing the report.
"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?"
"Yes, that's right," the officer told her.
"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward the officer, "would you please tie my shoe?"
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[5]
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, a woman used to take her four-year-old daughter on her afternoon rounds. The little girl was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day the mother found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As she braced herself for the inevitable barrage of questions, the child merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
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[6]
The first-grade teacher was overseeing her students as they experimented with their desk computers. One boy sat staring at the screen, unsure how to get the computer going. The teacher walked over and read what was on his screen.
In her most reassuring voice, she said, "The computer wants to know what your name is." Then she walked over to the next child.
The boy leaned toward the screen and whispered, "My name is David."
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[7]
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, a minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said. "Glory be unto the Faaaather... and unto the Sonnnn... and into the hole you goooo."
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[8]
To close each day's activities in summer and on holidays in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World at Lake Buena Vista, Fla., a huge fireworks display lights up the sky. One night a small boy was noticed. He was about three years old and was perched on his father's shoulder. The child sat mesmerized, aware only of what was exploding in the heavens.
When the fireworks were over, the little boy looked up into the sky again and with child like innocence said, "Thank you, God."
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[9]
When a young wife quit work to take care of the new baby daughter, the countless hours of peek-a-boo and other games slowly took their toll. One evening she smacked her bare toes on the corner of a dresser and, grabbing her foot, sank to the floor. Her husband rushed to her side and asked where it hurt. She looked at him through tear-filled eyes and managed to moan, "It's the piggy that ate roast beef."
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[10]
A young family had spent the day moving from their farmhouse into a new house in town. Early the next morning, the 3 1/2 year-old ran into their bedroom to wake them up. The child was dressed and told to play in the yard and to quit bothering them.
About 20 minutes later, he came running back.
"Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "everybody has doorbells ~ and they all work!"
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