LIFE BEFORE THE INTERNET
THERE WAS LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER


An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!


Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account!
And if you had a broken disk,
It would hurt when you found out!


Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for a while!


Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!


Cut - you did with a pocket knife
Paste - you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!


I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!


COMPUTER NUTS
COMPUTER USER'S REBOOT POEM
COMPUTERIZED AUTOMOBILES
DR SEUSS EXPLAINS WHY COMPUTERS SOMETIMES CRASH
E-MAIL FORWARDERS 12 STEP PROGRAM
ERROR 420
HOW THE INTERNET BEGAN
HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET
ID TEN T ERROR
TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR CO-WORKER IS A COMPUTER HACKER
WHY YOU MIGHT WANT TO SIGN OFF AND READ A BOOK


HUMOUR INDEX

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