HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET ...


You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 4.0 or higher."

The only topic of conversation you can talk with people about is your computer and the internet.

You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.

Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours. You start to twitch. You pick up the phone and manually dial your ISP's access number. You try to hum to communicate with the modem ... and you succeed.

You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

You start introducing yourself as "JohnDoe at AOL dot com."

All of your friends have an @ in their names.

You start telling someone about your computer and what you are doing on it and the person looks at you funny and says you sound like a computer geek and they don’t understand a word you are saying.

Your cat has its own home page.

You can't call your mother... she doesn't have a modem.

You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

You tell the cab driver you live at http://2755.prospect.garden/house/brick.html.

You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

You think of contacting a loved one but feel restrained because the person doesn’t have a computer.

You start thinking in chat language ~ while carrying on a conversation in your head.

You find yourself typing to people in your thoughts ~ while carrying on a conversation in your head.

Instead of laughing at funny thoughts you think 'lol'.

You can't stay away from it no matter how much you try.

You find yourself wanting to contact someone but they don’t have a computer ~ so you avoid contacting them while you wait for them to get a computer and come online.

As you drift off to sleep you find yourself typing out your thoughts about people.

You see yourself in these jokes and think omg and begin to laugh.


COMPUTER NUTS
COMPUTER USER'S REBOOT POEM
COMPUTERIZED AUTOMOBILES
DR SEUSS EXPLAINS WHY COMPUTERS SOMETIMES CRASH
E-MAIL FORWARDERS 12 STEP PROGRAM
ERROR 420
HOW THE INTERNET BEGAN
ID TEN T ERROR
LIFE BEFORE THE INTERNET
TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR CO-WORKER IS A COMPUTER HACKER
WHY YOU MIGHT WANT TO SIGN OFF AND READ A BOOK


HUMOUR INDEX

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