I AM CANADIAN ... I AM WOMAN


I shave my legs, I sit down to pee
And I can justify any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon
Can get a massage without a hard-on

I can balance the checkbook, can pump my own gas
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles at any cost,
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.

I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch,
And just cause I'm assertive, don't call me a bitch.

Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!

Flowers are okay, but jewelry's best.
Would you look at my face, not at my chest!

I don't have a problem with expressing my feelings
I know when you're lying, you look at the ceiling.

Don't call me a girl, a babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN - get it, you dick?


AS I MATURE
BATHING BLUES
CLASS REUNION
DAM CONTROL or THE WEDDING TRAP
FIFTY & BEYOND
IT’S GOOD TO BE THE WOMAN
MAMMOGRAM BOOB POEM
MID LIFE
OLD FASHIONED FRUIT CAKE
THE GREAT COVER UP
TRIP TO THE BATHROOM


WOMEN'S HUMOUR INDEX
DISCLAIMER
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